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Funny Stories

My mate Ally once needed to take a leek and decided that he would do it down this allyway. But as he was draining the vien on the backdoor of a shop, a lady opened the door from the other side. She shouted ´EXCUSE ME!´ and he shat himself and shouted ´OH SH1T´. He then bombed it with his bits in his hand shouting and screaming!

This is so funny. It happened on a Sunday night. Leighton, Ally, Russell and I were out at a park. 3 of us had to go in for tea but Russell couldn't be bothered (as he lived a mile away) so we left him and said we'ed be back in half an hour. When we got back we found him wonderin around tha park drunk. He decided he would lie on the bench and he then fell asleep. When he woke up, he went over and sat on these stairs. He kept sayin "Need...Fag...Need...Fag" So we helped him get a smoke out and lit it for him. 2 mins later, he was throwin up everywhere.

This story is about my Grandad. When he was 18, he worked in woolworths, but sadly he hated it. So he told all the fellows at work he had a broken leg. Every mornin, he would leave tha house in a shirt and tie and wave by to his mum. Until one day, a work mate phoned up and his mother answered the phone. He asked "When is Mike getting his cast off?"

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