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/Bar jokes

You can´t bring that dog in this bar

A man goes to a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says ´You can´t bring that dog in here!´ The guy, without missing a beat, says ´This is my seeing-eye dog.´ ´Oh man, ´ the bartender says, ´I´m sorry, here, the first one´s on me.´ The man takes his drink and goes to a table near the door.

Another guy walks in the bar with a Chihuahua. The first guys sees him, stops him and says ´You can´t bring that dog in here unless you tell him it´s a seeing-eye dog.´ The second man graciously thanks the first man and continues to the bar. He asks for a drink. The bartender says ´Hey, you can´t bring that dog in here!´

The second man replies ´This is my seeing-eye dog.´ The bartender says, ´No, I don´t think so. They do not have Chiwauas as seeing-eye dogs.´ The man pauses for a half-second and replies ´What?!?! They gave me a Chihuahua?!?´

There is a monkey in the bar

A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. He takes his first sip and sets it down. While he is looking around the bar, a monkey swings down and steals the pint of beer from him before he is able to stop the monkey.

The man asks the barman who owns the monkey. The barman replies the piano player. The man walks over to the piano player and says ´Do you know your monkey stole my beer.´ The pianist replies ´No, but if you hum it, I´ll play it.´

A brain goes to a local bar

A brain walks into a bar and says, ´I´ll have a pint of beer please.´

The barman looks at him and says ´Sorry, I can´t serve you.´

´Why not?´ askes the brain.

´You´re already out of your head.´

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