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/Dirty Jokes

These can be good messages 2 send 2 mobile phones.

1) Whats the maximum speed limit for sex?

68mph because at 69 u have 2 turn around.

2) Once i had a ONE2ONE with a VIRGIN she teased me till i got a ERICSON she sucked it till my face went ORANGE then i burst my load of SIEMEN over her NOKIAS

3) A 7 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom.

´You know what?´, says the 7 year old, ´I think it´s about time we start swearing.´ The 4 year old nods his head in approval. ´When we go downstairs for breakfast I´m gonna swear first, then you swear after me, ok?´

´Ok´ the 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.

The mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 7 year old what he wants for breakfast. ´Oh, poo! mum, I guess I´ll have some Coco Pops´

WHACK!! He flew out of his chair, tumbled across the kitchen floor, got up, and ran upstairs crying his eyes out. She looked at the 4 year old and asked with a stern voice, ´And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?!´

´I don´t know,´ he blubbers, ´but you can bet your tits it won´t be Coco Pops.´

How do you make love to a fat girl?

Roll her in flour and go for the wet spot.

Why are electric trains like a mother´s breasts?

They were both designed for the kids, but it´s the fathers who are always playing with them.

We recently conducted a poll as to whether men prefer women with large thighs or women with thin thighs. The results were pretty surprising.

10% of those men surveyed prefered women with large thighs.

10% of the men prefered women with thin thighs.

And the other 80% prefered what´s in-between.

Why do bankers make great lovers?

They know the penalty for early withdrawal.

A man and a woman were waiting at the hospital donation center.

Man: ´What are you doing here today?´

Woman: ´Oh, I´m here to donate some blood. They´re going to give me $5 for it.´

Man: ´Hmm, that´s interesting. I´m here to donate sperm, myself. But they pay me $25.´

The woman looked thoughtful for a moment and they chatted some more before going their separate ways.

Several months later, the same man and woman meet again in the donation center.

Man: ´Oh, hi there! Here to donate blood again?´

Woman: [shaking her head with mouth closed] ´Unh unh.´

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