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9* Kurt Cobain´s Suicide Note

To Boddah
Speakings from the tongue of an experienced simpleton who obviously would rather be an emasculated, infantile complainee. This note should be pretty easy to understand. All the warnings from the Punk Rock 101 Courses over the years, it´s my first introduction to the, shall we say ethics involved with independence and the embracement of your community has been proven to be very true. I haven´t felt the excitement of listening to, as well as creating music, along with really writing something for too many years now. I feel guilty beyond words about these things, for example when we´re backstage and the lights go out and the manic roar of the crowd begins. It doesn´t affect me in the way which it did for Freddie Mercury, whoseemed to love and relish the love and admiration from the crowd, which is something I totally admire and envy. The fact is, I can´t fool you, any of you. It simply isn´t fair to you, or to me. The worst crime can think of would be to pull people off by faking it, pretending as if I´m having one 100% fun. Sometimes I feel as though I should have a punch-in time clock before I walk out on-stage. I´ve tried everything within my power to appreciate it, and I do, God believe me, I do, but it´s not enough. I appreciate the fact that I, and we, have affected, and entertained a lot of people. I must be one of the narcisists who only appreciate things when they´re alone. I´m too sensitive, I need to be slightly numb in order to regain the enthusiasm.But, what´s sad is our child. On our last three tours, I´ve had a much betterappreciation of all the people I´ve known personally, and as fans of our music. But I still can´t get out the frustration, the guilt, and the sympathy I have for everybody. There is good in all of us, and I simply love people too much. So much that it makes me feel too fucking sad. The sad little sensitive unappreciative pisces Jesus man! why don´t you just enjoy it? I dont know! I have a of a wide who sweats ambition and...

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