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Woza malume

Impela bekuyizo izikhathi zokuphuma kwemiphumela ka"matric".Akajabulanga khona okwala umshana wami uBathobile igama lakhe liphumile ephepheni.Wamemeza kwaduma indlu yonke.

Phela uBathobile umshana wami.Uneminyaka engu 18.Washiywa udadewethu osathathwe amadoda ehamba ewashintshanisa.

Mina ngina 40 iminyaka.Ngiganiwe nginezingane ezimbili ena 16 na 11.Ave bekuthanda ukuvakasha lababantu!Umkami ukhukhule nazo zonke izingane bavakashele kubo.Ngisele nje nomshana.

Umshana lona ufundiswe yimina yonke leminyaka.Kulokhu u"apply"eyunivesithi.Sebemamukele.Nemali yokurejista bese ngimbekele yona eceleni.Yilokhu okumjabulisayo kangaka umshana.
'Wweeee!!!Ooooh!! I made it malume!!!Amemeze umshana agijime eze kimina.Nami ngimhlangabeze.Aziphose kimina injabulo.Agxume anginkonkoshele umshana.Angibambe entanyeni ahlanganise izandla zakhe ngemuva.Aphakamise imilenze angithandele ngemilenze ngemuva.Isiketi esifushane asigqokile senyuke siwaveze onke amathanga kamshana.Amhlophe qwa! Awu i"fresh" ingane kasisi!

Uyazi umshana akaze angasondela kimina kanje!Ngisho i"hug"yakhe angiyazi.Kodwa-ke ujabule umntakadadewethu.
Nami ngimthole sengimbambe ngemuva ezinqeni ngizimfonyoza.Zithambe kamnandi bo!Angithandele kakhulu umshana ngemilenze ngemuva.Lapho aze aqethukise ikhanda libheke emuva angigwaze ngamabele esifubeni.Nawo avele athofozele kamnandi athi thofo!
Ngiwahlisele ngenzansi amehlo ami emathangeni amhlophe qwa omshana wami.Ngizithole sengizimfonyoza futhi izinqe zomshana.Ngiyizwe kahle imomozi yomshana ithe ne kimina maqondana nomphambili wami.

Kwenzeke okunye okungakaze kwenzeke kimina nomshana wami.Umpipi wami uvele uthi fuku!fuku!Uye uthi ne kuyo imomozi yomshana esephentini.Lapho ngivele ngijuluke ngimbambe ngemuva umshana sakumhlikihla ngayo imomozi kumpipi wami oqumbe ngaphakathi ebhulukweni.Ngizizwe sengihlebeza ngingazenzi.'Awu mshana!'

Angikaze ngimkhanukele uBathobile umshana wami.Khona u"sexy"ngiyambona.Ngisho egeza angize ngingampopola ngembobo kakhiye.Kwala ngisho esefake i"nigthie"yakhe le emfushane eveza amathanga akhe abushelelezi angize ngingamqhanyelelwa.Lutho!Ngazi kahle ukuthi umshana uyingane yami,igazi lami.Nakhu manje ngiyajuluka ngiqhanyelwe.

'Impela malume angazi ukuthi ngingakubonga ngani ngokungifundisa umama engilahlile?'Kubuza umshana engigqolozele.'Phela mina ebengikwenza bengikwenzela umshana wami oyigazi lami,angidingi nkokhelo.'

'Awu kodwa malume wami!'Umshana agxume angikonofele emahlombe.Imilenze yomshana ingithandele ngemuva.Akazenzi umshana injabulo inkulu.Isibumbu sikamshana sithi ne ngaphambili empipini wami osekuvele wonakelelwe indaba.Ubuso bami nobomshana umntakadadewethu buqondane.ngenkulu injabulo umshana anginkonkoshele sakungiqabula,kodwa evale izindebe zomlomo wakhe.Ahlikihle izindebe zomlomo wakhe kokamalume.

Awu umalume oyimi azithole esemukela izindebe zomshana.Kodwa umalume oyimi athi ukuzincela kancane izindebe zomshana.Ngikhiphe ulimi ngingumalume.Awu ngilufake kumshana wami.Awu!Sincelane madoda nomshana wami.

Ngimfonyoze izinqe umshana.Umpipi wami oqumbile ngiwubeke ngqo esibunjini.Ngithi ukusihlikihla ngomthondo osebhulukweni umshana wami madoda.Ngiwubeke kuso ngqo isibumbu somshana.Siqumbile.Uyazi ilayishile ingane kadadewethu madoda!Kodwa angikaze ngiyenze lento madoda!Ingane kadadewethu pho!

Ngingabe ngisalukhipha ulimi manje emlonyeni womshana.Ngibone ukuthi uma ngingalukhipha sizobuyela emiqondweni yethu ngizwe nomshana esengibuza ukuthi,'malume wenzani?'Umbuzo engingazi ukuthi ngingawuphendula kanjani,futhi ungangilethela amahloni engingawazi.Ingane kadadewethu pho!

Ngimqukule uBathobile umshana ulimi luphakathi emlonyeni,ngimbambe ngqi ngemuva ezinqeni.Ngihambe naye engithandele ngemilenze.Kube kude ekamelweni lami.Uzobuza athi sengiyaphi manje ngoba vele akangeni ngeni nje ekamelweni lami noma ekhona umalumekazi wakhe.

Angeke ngisalukhipha ulimi kumshana,angimncele udu.Uma mgingalukhipha uzothi'mana malume'.Awu ngiye ngimuthi qithi ku"studio couch".Abe ngaphansi ngibe ngaphezulu.Ngiqhubeke ngimncele.Angikho "sure"noma umshana uyaqonda yini lokhu osekwenzeka phakathi kwethu noma...kodwa naye umshana usangithandele ngemilenze,noma ngimncela akabaleki...awu madoda.

Ngokushesha isandla sami sokudla ebesingemuva ezinqeni zikamshana ngisibuyise ngaphambili.Ngisithi mamfu isibumbu sikamshana.'Awu nkosiyami nakhu ingibulala ingane kadadewethu!'Lapho umthondo ngiwuzwe uthi "Fuku!Fuku!"Awu kwaze kwanzima ukuqhanyelelwa igazi lami!

Uma ngisithi"mamfu"isibumbu somshana wami ngizwe iphenti linomswakamo.Umunwe ngiwugudlise phakathi kwezindebe zengquza.'Yehheni bantu izindebe zengquza ziyaxathuka ubumanzi.Iphenti limanzi te.Lapho umshana uyahefuzela uma ngigudlisa umunwe engquza.Ngithi ukunwaya umsunu enhla nawo.'Mmmmmhhh'abubule "flash"emqondweni wami ukuthi kodwa angathini umama lena ekhaya elikhulu uma engezwa ukuthi mina sengilala nomshana!Awu ihlazo elingaka!Kungafanele kuhlangane umndeni wonke kuqulwe icala ngihlawuliswe inkomo noma imbuzi.Ngibizwe nangesikhohlakali emndenini.Kungabe kusabonakala konke okuhle engikwenzele umshana.

Lapho sengiwukhiphile umthondo wami usufudumele phakathi kwamathanga omshana...ngilehlise iphenti likaBathobile umshana.'Kahle malume...'ehlebeza esekhiphe nolimi emlonyeni.'Awu yini manje mshana?'Ngibuza kufanele ngoba ngiyabona ukuthi vele umshana ubese eqhanyelwe vele njengoba sigila yonke lemikhuba.'Ayi malume...'Umshana edonsa iphenti lakhe uma ngithi ngiyalehlisa.'Yini manje mshana?'Nami ngibuza sengiyabona ukuthi sengathi iyonakala lento.Angazi sengiyoyilungisa ngokuthini.Mhlawumbe umshana....Awu yehheni bantu kodwa ngizothini ubengaqonde lokhu.Kuphela uye wagajwa injabulo.

'Awu yini kodwa mshana?'Ngibuza ngokulahlela sengidumele kodwa umthondo usaqinile usathi "fuku!fuku!''Ayi malume ngiyakwethemba ungeze wayenza lento.'Vele umshana ungitshela iqiniso.Pho ngizothini!'Ayi mshana wami
usungibulele vele,'Ngizincengela ngokweqiniso.

'Nami malume usungibulele kodwa akufanele.'Kuthi sengathi lingiqeda amandla lelo.Kodwa ukuqhanyelwa kuthe bhe.Ayi nami angisazi kufanele ngithini.'Ayi mshana !' sengizincengela mina siqu.'Ayi asincenge.'Sengifile ukuqhanyelwa.Awu madoda kodwa lendaba ithiwani?

'Ngiyakwethemba malume...kahle,...'Athi engakaliqedi ngimdlaise umsunu ngomunwe.'Yeeeee...ooooh malume.'Ababayele umshana.Nami ngibone ngimdala ukuthi bese kuyi"last kick of a dying horse".Ngimphinde,ngimele wona nje umsunu kamshana ngomunwe.'Aaaaaaa....malume...aaaaaaaah.'
Ngilihulule iphenti lomshana ingane kadadewethu ngingumalume.Athi ukulibamba kancane abese elidedela.Alehlise umalume.Ngikhumule ibhulukwe,lapho umshana usevale amehlo ngesandla.Umthondo wami usuqine ngenye indlela ukuqhanyelwa.

Ijwabu lomthondo ngithi ukulidlalisa emsunwini
womshana.'Yuuuuuuuu....!!!'Kukhala ingane kadadewethu.Ngilidlalise lize libe manzi.Isencane phela lengane.Angazi noma iyawazi yini umthondo.Loluholokoqo lomthondo wami angazi ukuthi alizikuwuzwisa yini ubuhlungu ingane kadadewethu.

'Aaaaaah!!!'Sibubula sobabili nomshana umthondo ngiwufaka engquza yengane kadadewethu.Ngiyizwe ithi"mf...mf".Ushelele wonke sibubula nomshana,uze uphelele wonke egolo.Ngifende kuvele kubemnandi zisuka.Lishise kamnandi igolo likamshana.'Yo1Yo!Yo!'kukhala umshana uma ngiwufaka noma ngiwukhipha.'Awu..awu yini mshana wami?'Ngibuza ngihefuzela ngifenda.'Kumnandi...kumnandi malume wami...ooooh malume!'

'Ayi...ayi mshana.Wanengquza emnandi kangaka mntakadadewethu....Awu umnandi Bathobile.'Ngimuzwa esefenda umshana.'Woza malume!Woza malume!'Ngivele ngihlanye imnandi ingquza e"fresh".'Yaze yamnandi ingquza yasekhaya,limnandi igolo lakho awu mshana wami!'Umshana afende'Woza malume!Woza malume!'Ngiwushaye wonke umthondo uze ufike ekugcineni.Ngizwe ichopho lejwabu lithi ngci!ngci!endaweni esekugcineni kwengquza.Lendawo nami angize ngingayithola kumkami.Avele akhale umshana angibambe...'Aaaaaawu malume uwena wedwa ongidla kuleyondawo...ngiyayiqala...awu uyabhebha malume...uyadela umalumekazi ngokuba nendoda ebhebha kanje...!!!'

'Aaaawu mshana wami...yaze yangibusisa nansi ingane...eeeeh!!!'Ngiwuphinde umthondo kuyo leyondawo.Sengilwa nokufinyelela kuleyondawo esemajukujukwini edinga umthondo oqhanyelwe waqina ngempela.'Aaaaawu!!!Aaaaawu!!!Woza malume!Uyabhebha malume!Awuthi ngikuvulele lonke igolo...eeeee...nakhoke..nakhoke...'Akhale umshana anginkonkoshele afende asheshe.'Woza malume woza malume'Esho eshesha umshana edlikizela.Ngizwe kuthi fu!ukushisa engquza umshana echama.Ngifende kakhulu nginamathele kuleyondawo.Nami iyangihlanyisa leyondawo angize ngingayithola ndawo.'Aaaaaaaaaaah... mshaaaaaaana!!!'Ngichame.




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