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20.Don't Fart In Bed

This is a story about a couple who had been
happily married for years. The only friction in
their marriage was the husband's habit of
farting loudly every morning when he awoke.
The noise would wake his wife and the smell would
make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.

Every morning she would plead with him to stop
ripping them off because it was making her sick ..
He told her he couldn't stop
and that it was perfectly natural. She told
him to see a doctor. She was concerned that one day
he would blow his guts out.

The years went by and he continued to rip them
out! Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was
preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs
sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had
put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and
all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to

She took the bow l and went upstairs where her
husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back
the bed covers, she pulled
back the elastic waistband of his underpants
and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.

Some time later she heard her husband waken
with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a
blood curdling scream and
the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into
the bathroom.

The wife could hardly control herself as she
rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her ey es!
After years of torture she reckoned she had
got him back pretty good.

About twenty minutes later, her husband came
downstairs in his bloodstained underpants with a
look of horror on his face.

She bit her lip as she asked him what was the
matter. He said, "Honey, you were right. All these
years you have warned me
and I didn't listen to you.

"What do you mean?" asked his wife.

"Well, you always told me that one day I would
end up farting my guts out, and to day it finally
happened. But by the grace of God, some Vaseline,
and these two fingers, I think I got most of them
back in.

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