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<◊>Idiots Jokes<◊>

A man shouts to another man on the other bank of the river:
"How do I get to the other side?"
"You are on the other side."
Two men from Arkansas are out fishing and are having great luck. They're catching fish so fast that they're forced to go back early. "This is so great," says the first guy. "We should mark the spot so we can come here again." "You're right," says the other guy, who then dives over the side and scrapes a big X on the bottom of the boat. They head back to shore and just as they're about to dock, the first guy looks at the second guy and says, "What if wedon't get the same boat next time?"
A flatlander walks into a hardware store and asks for a chain saw that will cut 6 trees in one hour. The salesman recommends the top of the line model. The flatlander is suitably impressed, and buys it. The next day he brings it back and says, "This chainsaw is defective. It would only cut down 1 tree and it took ALL DAY!" The salesman takes the chain saw, starts it up to see what's wrong, and the flatlander says, "What's that noise?"
After reviewing a complicated divorce case, the Judge looks to the husband and says, "Based upon the facts before me, I've decided to give your wife $750 per month." The husband smiles and says, "That's great. Heck, I'll even throw in a few bucks myself."
A couple of hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing. His eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out is mobile phone and callls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator, in a calm, soothing voice, says: "Just take it easy. First, let's make sure he's dead."There's silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says, "Okay, now what?"

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