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Pakistan International Airline

"Good morning, Ladies and Gentlemen. This is your captain Shakeel Khan welcoming you to PIA. We apologize for the four-day delay in takin off, it was due to bad weather and some overtime I had to put in at the bakery.

1. This is flight 126 to Tunis. Landing in Tunis is not guaranteed, but we will end up somewhere in the West. And if luck is in our favour, we may even be landing on your village!

2. PIA has an excellent record of safety. In fact our safety standards are so high that even terrorists are afraid to fly with us! It is with pleasure to announce that starting this year over 50% of our passengers have reached their destination!

3. If our engines are too noisy for you, on passenger request, we can arrange to turn them off! To make your free fall to earth pleasant and memorable.

4. We serve complimentary tea and biscuits!

5. We regret to inform you, that today´s in-flight movie will not be shown as we forgot to record it from the t.v. But for our movie buffs, we will be flying right next to Air Tunis, where their movie will be visable from the right side of the cabin window.

6. There is no smoking in this airplane. Any smoke you do see in the cabin is only the early warning system on the engines telling us to slow down!

7. In order to catch important landmarks we try to fly as close as possible for the best view. If, how ever, we go a little too close, do let us know.

9. Kindly be seated, keep your seat in an upright position for take off and fasten your belt. For those of you who can´t find a seat belt, kindly fasten your own belt to the arm of the seat. And for those of you who can´t find a seat, do not hesitate to get in touch with a stewardess who will explain how to fasten yourself to your suitcase!

Enjoy your flight!

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