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razib.pep.zone

* Funny Messages

:: Funny Messages ::




1.

Can't believe after all the shit they have been through they're still together...............................Who? Your bum cheeks!!
2.

At 1st a little Nibble, Then a slow Lick & then a sensous Suck
3.

CADBURY'S CREAM EGG! "HOW DO YOU EAT YOURS"?
4.

Gawd i have found two identical objects a perfect match! My ARSE and YOUR FACE
5.

The NCHS Regrets to inform you that your birth was a mistake, could you please report to your local hospital to be put down!
6.

UR 100%beautiful UR 100%lovely UR 100%sweet UR 100%nice and UR 100%stupid to believe these words!
7.

It goes in dry, it comes out wet, the longer its in the stronger its gets. We can have it in bed, just u & me. ITS NOT WOT U THINK....... its a cup of tea!
8.

I'm at the Police Station.The police caught me & filed a case against me 4 "POSSESSION OF GOOD LOOKS" I'm doomed! NEED SOMEONE UGLY 2 BAIL ME OUT; So HURRY UP!
9.

ROSES R RED, VIOLETS R BLUE. THE HIGHER DA SKIRT, THE BETTER THE VIEW!
10.

Rememba when u need a fuck, i'll always b here 4 u. Bcoz FUCK = "FRIENDSHIP U CAN KEEP", so promise me dat we will fuck 4ever!
11.

I am a killer,I kill people for money.....But because you are my friend,I'll kill you for nothing!
12.

There was once a genie who came and asked "Name ur wish", U asked "Make me Gorgeous", Genie replied "I grant wishes not fucking miracles"
13.

Piss the taking is someone that realise u that point this at is it. (Now read it backwards) !
14.

U picked me up,u took me home,u put ur hands around my waist,u took off my top,den u put ur lips om mine. THANK GOD im a bottle of PEPSI.
15.

R U worried about missing work or being late, we have a deal 4 U. Travel with Bin Ladin Airlines & we will fly U str8 in2 Ur office!
16.

We go up and down, protection is tight, keepin it up all damn night, never tired always alert.....
17.

I love my job as a security guard
18.

whats the difference between divorce and circumcision? with divorce U get rid of the whole prick!!
19.

I saw u staring out from da window..ur eyes..ur face..ur so adorable..i couldn't resist myself & started signing...HOW MUCH IS THT DIGGY IN DA WINDOW...
20.

This sms can only be readed by someone SEXY:...try again...again...maybe you are just not sexy?...one more time...hey don't force it ugly!!!
21.

I am a killer,I kill people for money.....But because you are my friend,I'll kill you for nothing!
22.

little miss drugy sat in a buggy smoking a pipe of weed along came a spider
23.

skinned up beside her and sold her some acid and speed.
24.

Hello I am a virus and I am entering your brain right now..... sorry I will leave, I can't find a brain.
25.

Jelly baby goes to the doctors "doc ive got aids""you cant have aids ur a jelly baby!".."yeah i know..But ive been fucking allsorts!
26.

I wanted 2 rite u a letter but all i cud rite was. . . "3w 6@ys" it didnt make much sense until u read it upside down
27.

SOME1 MISSES U NEEDS U WORRIES ABOUT U WANTS 2B WITH U ...................................& IT AINT ME U CUNT!
28.

A G0OD FRIEND, IS LIKE A GO0D BRA.... HARD 2 FIND, C0MF0RTABLE, SUPP0RTIVE, PREVENTS U FR0M FALLING,HOLDS U TIGHT,AND ALWAYS
29.

CLOSE 2 UR HEART...UR MY BRA xxx
30.

The CIA has sent a female assassin to eliminate Osama Bin Laden-sadly she mixed up semtex and tampax and blew up the wrong cunt.
31.

I wanted to send u something nice that would make u smile but the postman told me to get out of the mailbox!
32.

This message was sent exclusively for the handsome and the beautiful. We have obviously sent it to the wrong number.We are truly sorry for the inconvenience
33.

Ur cute gorgeous fine & dandy.really sexy u make me randy.ur good wiv ur mouth & also in bed ?oops sorry wrong number 4get wot I said!
34.

I saw sumthing in da shop window 2day.It was stunning sexy cute beautiful & adorable.I was supposed 2buy it4u till i realised it was my own REFLECTION
35.

Those innocent eyes... Those kissable lips... A great smile... The perfect walk... Smoothest talk... Absolutely gorgeous.. Thats enough bout me-How r u?
36.

You?re Attractive Gorgeous Sexy Intelligent Smart Charming Sophisticated Fit Kind & Generous. In fact you?re becoming more like me everyday!
37.

Uve got sex appeal.uve got style.uve got intelligence.uve got class.uve got the face & uve got the body & ive got the wrong number!
38.

Ure so sexy u drive me insane.i luv u so much dat my heart is in pain.ur sexy voice puts me in a slumber.oh damn im sorry i have the wrong number
39.

Im not under d affluence of incohol as some tinkle peep.Im not half as thunk as u drink.I fool so feelish and da drunker i stand here da longer i get
40.

Last night i wanted to send u a msg, but all i could write was: "noh ss!w !". it didn't make much sense until i read it upside down...
41.

MEN-opause MEN-strual pain MEN-tal illness GUY-necologist HIS-terectomy EVER NOTICED HOW WOMENS PROBLEMS START WITH MEN??
42.

Pls remind me 2 remind u about remindin me to send u dis reminder oh dat reminds me can u remind me wot the reminder was ive forgot!
43.

Piss the taking is someone that realise u this like times at its! NOW READ IT BACKWARDS!!
44.

Hello!Im a little alien called Ted.I have taken the form of a mobile phone- your phone.And during this message I have been having sex with your thumb!
45.

This cat is cat a cat good cat way cat to cat keep cat a cat idiot cat buzy cat for cat 20 cat seconds cat! NOW READ IT WITHOUT SAYIN CAT!
46.

A)Ur Attractive B)Ur Buff C)Ur Charmin D)Ur Delicious E)Ur Excitin F)Ur Funny G)Ur Gorgeous H)Ur Heavenly I)Im J)Just K)Kiddin L)Loser!
47.

HOW TO KEEP AN IDIOT ENTERTAINED *press down* HOW TO KEEP AN IDIOT ENTERTAINED *press up*
48.

Wot letters r missin in H__RT? EA or U? Pick EA & u get a heart!if u pick U,u will get hurt! I'd pick U coz it's better to get hurt than have a heart without U!
49.

if u notice this notice you will notice that this notice is not worth noticing!!!
50.

I have the "I".I have the "L".I have the "O".I have the "V".I have the "E"... so pls
51.

if ur askin if id hurt u da ansa is nevaif ur askin if i luv u da ansa is 4eva.if ur askin if i want u da ansa is i do.if ur askin wot i value most da ansa is u
52.

If luvs a disease den im very ill.but i dont want medicine i wont take no pill.i will suffer dis illness cos it makes me see exactly how much u mean 2 me!
53.

If i were a tear in ur eye i wood roll down onto ur lips.But if u were a tear in my eye i wood never cry as i wood be afraid 2 lose u!
54.

If Love & Friendship could be brought or sold as if they were Stocks & Shares.those wise enough to invest in you SEXY would all be millionaires!!!
55.

If water was a kiss id send u the sea.if a hug was 1 leaf id send u a tree if luv were forever id send u eternity!
56.

If i rote ur name in d sky wind wood blow it away.if i rote ur name in d sea waves wood wash it away.But ur name is engravd in my heart where nothin can touch it!
57.

if u love me like u told me please be careful wiv my heart- u can take it jus dont break it or my world will fall appart
58.

If a kiss was a raindrop i'd send u showers.if a hug was a second i'd send u hours.if a smile was water i'd send u a sea.if love was a person i'd send u me!
59.

Im @ the police station now been done 4 drink driving. Urine sample was positive so I nicked the sample, they r now doin me 4 taking the piss.
60.

A train is bout 2 crash! A frantic virgin strips off & says can any1 make me feel like a woman b4 i die? So a man takes off his clothes & says iron these!
61.

What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway).
62.

If your right leg was thanksgiving and Your left leg was Christmas could I meet U between the holidays?
63.

3 sisters. ann, jan & fanny all have big feet, ann & jan go on a date, 1 of the boys says "jesus u have big feet "ann replys "u should see our fannys theyre huge!
64.

He came 2 me 1 nite...explored my body...licked-sucked-swallowed & had his fill...wen satisfied he left...I was hurt... F***IN MOSQUITO
65.

Roses are red, Pickles are green, I love your legs & whats in between!
66.

Last nite i wantd u. needed u so badly dat it hurt. wantd 2 taste u. i wantd u in me so u could work ur magic on me...but i couldnt find u. u stupid..PARACETAMO
67.

NEWSFLASH...scientists have made a breakthrough & discovered that the female gender carry intelligent cells. Unfortunately 95% of them spit it out!
68.

chicken and egg in bed, chicken has head on pillow smoking.
69.

Egg rolls over pissed off saying "i guess we answered that question"
70.

I'm a bit shy...I'd like to have sex with you, you do not have to say yes, just smile to me!
71.

I think I have BSE on my penis ...... all women who experienced it go crazy !
72.

Eva stood in the river washing her cunt when God comes running to her and shouts: EVA EVA STOP, I WON'T GET THE SMELL OF THE FISH.
73.

Do you know why a waterbed needs to be filled with seawater?...For the mussels need to be able to open.
74.

Screw calmly and without worries, if you do not come today, it may happen tomorrow !
75.

Women are like little children, they put everything they see in their mouth.
76.

The boy puts his information in her communication and together they make population!
77.

What is the resemblance between a windscreen wiper and a woman? ... When they are wet, they do not squeak any more!
78.

The first day we met,I wanted you in my bed.Today I'll know better,so I'll write it in my letter.In my bed I've seen so many faces,so I'll fuck you at different ...
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