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[Funny Quotes]

I'm feelin a little off today, Would Anybody like to Turn Me On?

Im not stupid.. i just dont give a shit.

Life's a bitch, So i became one.

Alcohol may not be the answer, but it sure helps you forget the question!

Be nice to other people; they out number you six billion to one.

when life hands you a lemon, bust out the tequilla and salt!

I talk to myself because I like dealing with a better class of people.

Smoking kills, and if you get killed, you just lost a very important part of your life.

The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.

Mystify people with your intelligence, and if u cant do that, confuse them with your B.S.

what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?

I wanted to kill the sexiest girl alive, that's when I realized, oh shit, suicides a crime !

If you dont like my apples, dont shake my tree.

If your gona get in trouble for hitting someone, you might as well do it hard.

Everyone has the ability to make others happy. Some people do by entering a room and others by leaving it.

Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.

They say one out of every four people is crazy. Check three friends. If they’re okay, you’re it.

It's better to let someone think you are an idiot than to open your mouth and prove it.

Some drink at the fountain of knowledge. Others just gargle.

I used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.

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