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Nerd Test [pt1]

Hello, and welcome to the nerdity test. This test is designed to help you determine your nerdity quotient. In the past, someone may have watched you, or listened to something you said and then exclaimed, "You geek! What do you think you are doing?" Or maybe it's just us. In any event, we here at the nerdity testing lab were prompted to ask "just what is a nerd?" In response, we came up with this test. By taking it, you will determine your current nerdity quotient (from 0% to 100%), with 100% roughly corresponding to a pile of sludge unable to communicate with anything human except through a device that is a miracle of modern medicine and engineering, and whose only connection to the outside world is through the computer internet system.


As this test is being distributed primarily in places of high concentrations of known nerds, and nerds in turn tend to have nerd friends, that someone who has never heard of or seen the nerdity test is assumed to be 0% nerd. However, once such knowledge comes to them, they are immediately placed in the 100% nerdity category. This is done because it is also assumed that only a true geek would utter something to the effect of: "Nerdity test?!? What a stupid concept! I'm too cool to take something as dumb as that." The values in between are determined by taking the test and scoring it as follows.

For each question below for which you can answer "yes" or "true", take one point. At the end of the test, divide the total number of points you scored by the total number of questions in the test. Treat this number as a percentage that represents your nerdity quotient.

Some of the questions will have parentheticals at the end of them. What is contained within the parentheticals is a short list of examples relating to the given question. The list is not to be taken as all inclusive but merely as suggestions that might apply.

All technicalities count - after all, being technical is half of what being a nerd is all about.


It is felt that for maximum enjoyment, you should respond out loud with your answers. You should treat each "yes" that you say as a personal catharsis of what you are doing wrong (or right depending on your opinion of nerdity) and each "no" may then be disputed by your peers. In this way, errors due to lying or personal oversight are avoided and the test also has a therapeutic effect for the closet nerd. As an aside, information gleaned about others should be treated confidentially. Each of us has a dork-side that we don't want others to know about.

Experiment shows that nerdity CAN be cured! With effort and personal sacrifice... The nerdity quotient is a cross between proclivity toward as well as actual current status in nerddom. Some questions are "have you ever..." while others are "do you now...". The former register the fact that you have a propensity toward nerdity, while the later acknowledge the fact that you are currently geeking. Obviously, as your answers toward the "do you now" type questions change, so will your nerd quotient.

Please use only a number two pencil. Mark all answers in your blue book. Shake well before using. Lather. Rinse. Repeat as desired. Show all work. Refrigerate after opening. No partial credit will be given. A table of useful formulas is included at the end. You may begin.... NOW!

SECTION 1: Education and Schooling

1. Have you ever taken a "higher" math course? (Trig, Calculus)

2. the college level?

3. ...and received an A (3.7 grade point)?

4. Are you still capable of doing what you learned in the course of #1?

5. Have you ever taken a science course? (Biology, Physics, Chemistry)

6. the college level?

7. ...and received an A (3.7 grade point)?

8. Are you still capable of doing what you learned in the course of #5?

9. Have you ever majored in the "hard sciences"? (engineering, physics chemistry, etc. but excluding psychology, economics, etc.)

10. Have you ever taken Latin?

11. Have you ever asked a question in lecture?

12. Have you ever answered a question asked in lecture?

13. Have you ever corrected a professor in lecture?

14. Have you ever answered a rhetorical question?

15. Have you ever given a lecture?

16. Do you sit in the front row more than 20% of the time?

17. Have you ever had a "perfect attendance record"?

18. Have you ever verified an equation in a science text on your own? (i.e. experimental proof)

19. Have you ever derived an equation you found in a science text?

20. ...when you didn't have to?

21. ...using other principles? (starting from a different equation than the text did)

22. Do you take notes in more than one color?

23. Do you use other props when taking notes? (ruler, compass, protractor)

24. Have you ever tutored someone else?

25. Have you ever done homework on a Friday night?

26. Have you ever pulled an all-nighter?

27. Have you taken any classes pass/fail just to preserve your GPA?

28. Have you ever known more about the subject material than the lecturer?

29. ...but continued in the class because you "needed the grade?"

30. ...and had the lecturer admit this fact to you?

31. Have you ever had an argument with a professor?

32. Did you win?

33. Has a lecturer ever referred someone to you as being more knowledgeable?

34. Did you apply to any college merely for the sake of "seeing if I would get in"?

35. Was your SAT math more than 300 above your verbal?

36. Did you score higher than 1200 combined on the SAT?

SECTION 2: Knowledge

37. Can you count in binary? (up to decimal 10)

38. Can you count in hexadecimal? (up to decimal 20)

39. Can you count in Roman numerals?

40. Do you know Maxwell's equations? (integral or differential form)

41. Do you know Schroedinger's Equation?

42. Have you ever solved Schroedinger's Equation?

43. ...for fun?

44. Do you know the difference between a scalar and a vector?

45. Do you know the difference between a vector and a tensor?

46. Do you know the right-hand-rule for cross-products?

47. Do you know the Latin name (genus and species) for anything? (fruit fly, human being)

48. Can you understand the owner's manual for electronic equipment?

49. Can you understand the electronic schematic for electronic equipment?

50. Do you know what a "reverse polish notation" calculator is?

51. Can you name the first nine elements of the periodic table in order?

52. Can you translate more than half the chemical symbols into the name of the element they represent?

53. Do you know the wavelengths in the visible spectrum?

54. Are you bilingual?

55. ...and not an immigrant or child of an immigrant?

56. Can you briefly outline the biological process that occur due to alcohol when it is consumed by a human?

57. ...while drunk?

58. Do you know how your car's engine works?

59. Have you ever interpolated?

60. Have you ever extrapolated?

61. Do you know the difference between interpolation and extrapolation?

62. Have you ever integrated numerically?

63. ...and known the result ahead of time?

64. ...and complained about how slow the computer was?

65. Have you ever seen or utilized the spherical harmonic functions?

66. ...and found them aesthetically pleasing?

67. Do you know most of the words to "The Lumberjack Song" by Monty Python?

68. Do you own an encyclopedia?

69. Have you ever read an encyclopedia entry that you weren't researching?

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